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Showing posts from 2010

It's That Time of the Year Again...

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Cocktails, broken promises, and regret time! Also known colloquially as New Year's.

For those who aren't yet aware, Baltimoreans loveparties. Balls, galas, concerts, beer gardens, festivals - despite our choleric reputation, weare a peoplewholovemerrimentinallitscuriousforms, at all times, and with eventhethinnest of excuses.

So, naturally, when an actual holiday with actual cause for celebration comes along, we celebrate it the only way we know how: by exploiting a loophole in the law that lets us do what we want.

Yes, this curious state of affairs surrounding New Year's Eve in Baltimore comes because our forward-thinking forebears in the great city had their grand-kids' well-being in mind when they decided that bars should not be forced to close at the monastic hour of 2 am on the most celebratory night of the year. Reinterpretation of that law means that bars in Baltimore open at 8 pm on December 31st, and stay open until 2 am on January 2nd. Hell. Yes.

Now, Coda being …

philosophy of the world

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So, as Tex mentioned, we've been sort of busy. I, for example, am currently training to secure the title of 'fastest staple-puller in the west,' the competition is steep but I didn't major in philosophy for nothing. And as it turns out, neither did these guys.




Dead Philosophers in Heaven might sound a little doubtful to anyone who doesn't own three different translations of the Nicomachean Ethics, but rest assured the humor doesn't require a BA in Pragmatism to enjoy it. If, however, you find yourself in need of some guidance there's a helpful, and hopefully growing, collection of philosopher trading cards that list strengths (Karl Marx: comprehensive description of just how utterly fucked we are), weaknesses (Frederich Nietzsche: syphilis, German), secret weapons (Plato: terrible conversational skills, massive state violence), and other helpful facts to keep the material relevant to those who studied...something employable.

So get out there and start exam…

Comedy Blogs, Trains, and Aeroplanes (UPDATE: Trains and Aeroplanes no longer available.)

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So somehow, between flings with exotic boytoys and international crime sprees, Coda and I managed to get a couple of jobs - hence the tragic decline in blog contributions. But never fear - nous sommes retournés.

Now, I'm not sure how I managed to utterly fail at my job here at TCKiT prior to today, but fail I have because I have not mentioned a blog so hilarious that it's artful:


Gabe Delahaye is the lead writer, emperor, etc. of Videogum, and not only is he the sort of handsome that is just ridiculous, but he's also hysterical. Honestly, sometimes Videogum (and its accompanying community of hysterical commenting monsters) are all that get me through the workday. Well, that and marshmallows. Sweet, sweet, precious marshmallows.

Anyway, for a straight shot of funny right to the vein, check out Gabe's recaps of popular TV shows, or his ongoing Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time. But don't let me confuse you - it's all good and it's all funny.


Now, speaking of t…

i feel home

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I don't know who's running the PR machine for Take Ivy's first English language run, but who ever it is, she's certainly taking her job seriously. The press this book has been getting is out of control (I could probably link you to 10 mentions here and now without batting an eye) and it's been irritating inspiring us here at TCKiT to no end. So much so, in fact, that I've decided to hold off on buying that third pair of Sperrys to devote a little time to a post on the best of the best in recklessly preppy internet.

Though pesky concepts like 'copyright infringement' and 'intellectual property laws' have kept tongue-in-cheek masterpiece The Official Preppy Handbook from being posted online, you can still head over to Off the Cuff's discussion of Classic v Preppy for a concise style primer. Or just browse the blog itself for brand profiles, styling advice, and some exceptionally well written pieces on classic style in the modern world. If, how…

Princes, Popes & Ponies

Ah, the glory of the sport of kings. The lush, green fields. The pounding of hooves. The pretty dresses and bottomless mimosas.

10 Oaks Charity Polo Match
In keeping with the spirit of our summer, Tex and Coda decided to live it up, Maryland-style.
In keeping with our belief that maybe you monsters should do something nice for a change instead of just swearing all the time, we decided to start at the annual Catholic Charities Ten Oaks Polo match. Proceeds went to benefit the Our Daily Bread Employment Center, which provides workforce development, homelessness assistance, and one of the largest soup kitchens in the city.
So to sum: do good things, see good sport - check out 10 Oaks 2011.

Attractions included gorgeous horses, cute dresses, and one surprisingly placed anti-capitalist puppet show. I wish that was a joke.





Green Cup of Polo
Fast forward 3 weeks, and you'll find us again sitting field-side, amidst hooves and horseplay.

This time we went to the Green Cup of Polo, a match hosted …

Baltimore Buzz: Memorial Day Crab Pot Lawn Party at the Mandarin Oriental

Sometimes a girl's just gotta live it up, and this week, Tex was feeling fancy. Our good friends at UrbanDaddy led me to this event that sounded awesome from all angles: Crabs on the Lawn of the Mandarin Oriental.
For those unaware, the MO is easily the best of the best when it comes to hotels in the area, and the DC location is beautifully situated to overlook the waterfront in DC's southwest. Crabs, naturally, will bring any Baltimorean out of the house, and of course Tex loves anyplace that offers brilliant table service and free champagne. So why would I ever say no?
The Crab Pot was also the kick-off in a series of MO-based restaurant Sou'Wester summer lawn parties (heed ye early - reservations fill up fast), and if this is what the rest of the summer will be like, then count me in.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that the very friendly blogger/photographers from Revamp were there, and got even better pictures than I did.

Next Up: Tex & Coda hope to…

Baltimore Buzz: Ottobar's Pretty in Pink 2010

Far be it from a Baltimorean to turn down a party. There's just something about the opportunity to dance, drink, and startle our eardrums that gets a Marylander's blood running, and Texas is no exception. That's why she and Coda are pioneering a new feature for your blog viewing pleasure:
Baltimore Buzz (a.k.a. So What'd You Do Last Night?)
First up on So What'd You Do Last Night: the immensely enjoyable Ottobar 2010 Pretty in Pink Prom: a night of 80's-themed festivities, including an on-point DJ, a dressed-to-impress crowd, and a rack of hilarious decorations. In true modern girl fashion, Tex went with a fellow Baltimore blogger, one of the writers of Two Dilettantes. Although I couldn't dream of outdressing that fashionable fox, I did my best (pics below).
We also drank delish drinks (although we passed on the spiked punch - hits too close to hipster for my tastes), saw an amazing Michael Jackson impersonator, and just generally had a good time with the ad…

take me out to the ballgame

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Well kids, Preakness is over, so as far as I'm concerned summer has officially begun, solstice be damned. And to me, as with all proper Baltimore girls, summer means only one thing: bonding with the Birds down at the Yard (not Birdland, here at TCKiT Birdland will never be accepted).

So, we're really only a month into the season at this point, and maybe the O's exponentially slow start put you off a bit. Maybe more than a bit. In fact, maybe you're just now aware that baseball season's started. Let Orioles Hangout help you get back in the swing of things.






A multi-facated site, Orioles Hangout covers the O's, their farm system, fantasy baseball, and more. Use it to find out the odds of Reimold getting bumped back up to the majors, the projected length of Roberts's stay on the DL, or just the score from tonight's game.

If, however, you want something with a little more detail and many fewer pictures, check out Oriole Post.





A blog dedicated, primarily to the O…

maryland, my maryland

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As Baltimore poet Ogden Nash once wrote, 'The [Kentucky] Derby is a race of aristocratic sleekness, for horses of birth to prove their worth to run in the Preakness.' Here at TCKiT we couldn't agree more, and definitely hold the second leg of the Triple Crown in highest regard (in spite of the Maryland Jockey Club's consistent efforts to screw the whole thing up), so Tex and I are gonna give you a crash course in Preakness before we head out to Pimlico to enjoy the newly reinstated alcohol policy.




First thing you need to know is post time. The running of the 135th Preakness Stakes begins at exactly 6.18pm on NBC, don't forget to look for us in the infield.

Next we're gonna point you in the direction of ESPN's (slightly dated) rundown of the Preakness and what you need to know if you plan to be in attendance.

Lastly, we'll throw in an entertaining, though perhaps not so flattering, post about last year's infield BYOB-ban from With Leather, a sports bl…

this is the life

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Yesterday Tex and I hooked you guys up with some credible, on-the-ground news sources, and today we're gonna continue in that vein by pointing you in the direction of some of our favorite young bloggers and Baltimore social commentators.

First up is Bohs and O's.






Written primarily by a group of guys we probably all danced with at one middle school mixer or another, Bohs and O's is an entertaining assemblage of opinions that touch on just about every aspect of (young) life in Baltimore. Admittedly, there are some days when it's a little Bro-heavy, but on the whole it's more or less delightful (and it's also the original home of our TCKiT favorites survey).





Insane Baltimore is written by another Baltimore-based blogger with a biting sense of humor. Updated whenever inspiration strikes (which we here at TCKiT find highly relatable), Insane Baltimore is full of entertaining observations about that special kind of crazy that's just accepted here in Charm City. The …

the smart set

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Baltimore is home to a surprisingly rich literary tradition: from the riots in the summer of 1812 centered around our 1st Amendment right to a free press (which also earned us the loving moniker Mobtown), to newspaperman and all around critic H.L. Mencken, the people of Baltimore have always loved expressing themselves. The golden age of journalism might be past, but Baltimore is home to plenty of verbose bloggers who can tell you all about the ins and outs of our city; um, you know, other than us.


Welcome to Baltimore, Hon! is a self-described virtual scrapbook of Baltimore curated by Charm City natives and featuring everything from local news to photo contests.



Baltimore Skyline is a similarly structured blog - giving a more personal voice to the local news, be it wonderful, awful, or just plain strange.


For a more direct link to all things Baltimore and newsy check out Inside Charm City.



Inside Charm City posts, verbatim, breaking news, press releases, interviews, and the like so you c…

maryland is for crabs

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Maryland is home to so many wonderful things: Tex & Coda, the Naval Academy, those lovable O's, and of course, blue crab. No matter what lies biologists and the Discovery Channel tell you, the blue crab really is the only one worth knowing, or eating.



In that light, allow us to direct you to The Crab Guy, a blogger who, as his name implies, writes all about those delectable crustaceans native to the Chesapeake and how best to prepare them. He even has detailed instructions on how to pick crabs so you'll look like a native even if you're not.


If however, you're one of those people (and Coda is not) who prefers crab cakes to picking your own, then check out The Crab Cake Guy and find out how to make them right. By the way, making them right will not include a fryer. Ever.


If you'd like to take a more scientific approach to learning about crabs and the Bay head on over to Bay Daily, a blog about environmental issues relating to the Chesapeake and her watershed.

Lastly…

home is where the heart is

And for Tex and Coda, that's Baltimore. So we've decided to dedicate Preakness week to our beloved Charm City: all week we'll be pushing our favorite Baltimore sites and blogs, drinking heavily in anticipation of Saturday, and just generally enticing those of you who aren't fortunate enough to live here to come join the party. And, because we're so delightful we could probably talk you into just about anything, we're gonna prepare you for your inevitable visit by starting things off with a survey of our Bmore favorites (hoisted right off one of our favorite Baltimore blogs - to be named later - and edited to our exacting standards) as well as a quick link to an article in The Sun explaining the unique Mid-Atlantic culture to all you confused northerners and southerners out there.

TCKiT favorites:

Favorite Dive Bar?

◦ Tex: Windsor Inn
◦ Coda: John Steven

Favorite Weekend Bar?

◦ Tex: Waterfront Hotel
◦ Coda: Max's

Favorite Weekday Bar?

the examined life (worth living)

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We make a lot of jokes here at TCKiT, about hipsters and sweaters and drinks made with MD 20/20, but today let's do something different. In fact, let's do something nice.
1. First up are the TED talks, and if you don't know them, then you should. The most brilliant, innovative, interesting, coolest people ever to live in our modern world get on stage with just a microphone, a powerpoint and 5 - 15 minutes to rock your world.
Among the better-known honorees: Bill Clinton, Isabelle Allende, Bill Gates, Frank Gehry, Robert Ballard, Richard Branson, Richard Dawkins, Jared Diamond, Dave Eggers, Jane Goodall, Malcolm Gladwell, Brian Greene, Stephen Hawking...get the idea?





2. Second to these are the videos at Stock Exchange of Visions. These are to the TED talks as the iPad is to a laptop - short, sweet, stylish, and to the point (if lacking in details). Great minds get on video and talk for 30 seconds or so about their view for the planet - some times bewildering, sometimes brillian…

love story

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Gather 'round the fire (air conditioner), kids, it's story time. Today we'll be tracing the trajectory of a relationship, and not one of those happily-ever-after relationships, either. Save that for the NY Girl of Your Dreams. No, no, this is the story of all those other relationships, the ones that crash and burn. So, as with all stories, we begin at the beginning:

Awful First Dates.



Remember that trauma-rama section of Seventeen? The one with all those horror stories from every day life that you totally loved reading because trauma is really funny when it's happening to other people? Well, that's pretty much the gist of Awful First Dates. People write brief summaries of their terrible romantic mishaps and then you can vote on just how terrible (or not) it really was.




If, however, the first date isn't the worst thing ever, maybe you'll take the next step and settle into a relationship. Possibly with someone who's not really hot enough for you, like these …

viva hate

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Well kids, it's been a pretty awful 24 hours: the Caps lost, the O's can't seem to win more than 2 games together, and I'm about 30 seconds from ending one of my co-workers. But it looks like the worst might be behind me now: I cut off all my hair, that Rascal Flatts song isn't stuck in my head anymore (but it might be stuck in yours, sucka), and Tex is back! More than back, actually, she and I are doing our very first joint post, and it's on a subject very near and dear to our hearts: hating on hipsters.

First on the menu: Hipster Wife Hunting.



Don't worry, it's just as gross as it sounds. American Apparel wearing girls put up personal ads telling everyone why they'd make the perfect hipster wife in hopes of meeting their douchey soulmate. I know, I know, it sounds like there is no upside to a site this obnoxious, but, as it turns out, after a really tough day some aggressive hipster hating is just the ticket to turn things around.








And now for somethi…

Hipsters A-Go-Go

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Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up to the blog. Yes, kiddos, Texas is back, and better than ever before, filling your life with light and happiness and awful, awful hipsters.

1. First up: the good, the bad, and the ugly at Look at this fucking hipster.

Started with facebook photos, expanded into an empire, the site lambasts hipsters like it's going out of style. Which it never will.

2. Once you've taken that in, cleanse your palate and amuse yourself over at Hipster Puppies.
It's about exactly what it sounds like - hipster puppies (Not pupsters. Never pupsters.) - in all shapes and colors. It's cute and clever, and makes you less terrified for the state of today's youth.
Now, while you're doing all this hipster research, you're probably going to want a stiff drink. Well, this isn't one, but it might get you laid at the kind of parties where people debate Eliott Smith. So enter Texas' latest truck stop drink creation:
The Hipster Roofie Slam…

pencil thin mustache

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You know what doesn't get nearly enough appreciation, at least as far as facial hair goes? Mustaches. Sure, I might only feel this way because I've just come off a 2 day Jimmy Buffett bender (with a splash of Zac Brown Band - Crossroads is secretly the greatest show ever) but I'm inclined to think it's genuine. So genuine, in fact, that I'm devoting an entire post to this most illustrious of facial hair incarnations.


The World Beard & Mustache Championships is a biennial event where men with seriously impressive facial hair compete against one another for the recognition they so rightfully deserve. Browse through the event's history (apparently it's shrouded in controversy), look for upcoming events, read up on the competing teams, or click through to the Team USA website and bask in the glow of the world's new facial hair super power. And there's no need to walk away empty handed, the WBMC has an online store.


After looking at all those waxed won…

new workout plan

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As my grandfather so wisely told me one day: real friends don't make you exercise. Unfortunately that sage advice came too late, as one of my friends, we'll call her Beelzebub, had already talked me into running a half marathon with her, and I was, at that point, only one week from said race. Why tell you this story? To warn you, dear friends, to steer clear of false friends trying to kill you under the guise of 'helping you live longer' or some such nonsense. If, however, you've already fallen victim to your own Beelzebub, and need some help staying on track, well, I suppose I'm here to help.


Habit Forge is a handy little site that'll let you lay out your goals (stop biting nails, run 3 miles, etc) and then email you, every day, for 21 days asking you if you've completed your goal for the day. If you say no the clock resets until you've succeeded for 21 days straight. After 21 successive days of success Habit Forge'll give you the option to cont…

partie traumatic

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Well kids, it appears that Spring has finally sprung, which means that the Caps are in the playoffs and we O's faithful are high on believing that this will be the year which marks our return to former glory. And what better way to celebrate the passing of the vernal equinox than by throwing a party, or at the very least a rowdy BeerBQ?

Need a little inspiration? Or perhaps just something to aspire to? Check out Keggers of Yore.



Keggers of Yore is an online collection of old party pictures, and not just any party pictures, monumental party pictures. The kind Homer would've written epic poetry about. From dorm room drinking sessions and small gatherings to huge outdoor fiestas, Keggers of Yore is the world's single greatest photo collection of old-timey people making jackasses of themselves. The best part? Keggers of Yore takes submissions, so if your grandfather had a legendary keg stand you can share it with the world. And hey, maybe one day your grandkids will submit pictu…