Tuesday, June 3, 2014

future sound

Well, I think we can all agree that telling you beautiful people we're 'finally reliable bloggers' is a bad idea. It only brings misery and neglect. Kind of like that time Tex got all noble and left me at the mercy of Dead Rise and Full House reruns.

Speaking of Full House, allow me to introduce you to Full House Reviewed.

A labor of hate, Herculean in its magnitude, Full House Reviewed is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: every episode of Full House reviewed in order. By a man who hates the show. It's hysterical, it's eye-opening (seriously, how did I fail to notice that Michelle is a tiny little dictator?), and it's well worth your time. The best news is that the fun doesn't have to stop once you're finished with the Full House recaps because Billy Superstar is still at it with Saved By the Bell Reviewed - same great entertainment, half the hate.

All that Full House talk got you jonesing for a Tanner family marathon? Totally understandable. Unfortunately, I have no idea where you can find it. But CanIStream.it does.

Continuing with our (accidental) theme of self-explanatory site names, Can I Stream (it) will tell you if and where every tv show and movie you can think of is streaming right now. The show you want isn't available for streaming? No worries. You can have Can I Stream (it) notify you when it is. And don't fret, they have an app. Because your awesome taste in movies should be as mobile as you are.

Need a little mental stimulation after that Secret Princes marathon? Check out Wait but Why.

The ultimate in procrastination sites, Wait But Why is the brain child of two friends, one of whom does an immense amount of research on whatever interests him and the other of whom panics quietly when he realizes he has no control over what his friend writes. It's a model we're pretty comfortable with here at TCKiT so we like to think of WbW as our wiser, younger, much more successful brother, who maybe pretends he doesn't know us. From explaining why sports fans are sports fans to breaking down how to beat procrastination (full disclosure: I haven't gotten around to reading that one yet) WbW is interesting and relatable in the extreme.

Yeah, you owe me one.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Let's get pretty.

Well, children, it's been a while. Tex has been very busy wearing black-rimmed glasses, frowning at powerpoint slides in mostly-white rooms, and buying lots of economy fare tickets to San Francisco (these activities are collectively and laughably known as "founding a startup"). But that's all settled now. The lawyers have gone home and Tex can dedicate her full attention to you, Cutty darling.

So we're going to get pretty.

First stop is London, to visit Shirley's Wardrobe.

An offensively beautiful collection of clothes you'd probably look ridiculous wearing (what are those puffy coats even made of?!), it's nonetheless aesthetic inspiration for the city-chic chick. If nothing else, it will remind you to keep your eyebrows plucked.

So with our wardrobe in order, we'll traipse along to visit Sarah, an old friend of Mummy's whose love letter to the world at large is Note to Self.
Beautiful clothes, beautiful notes, beautiful desks, and beautifully simple aesthetic curations. Oh, and Mummy went to prep school with her. Because of course Mummy went to prep school with her.


That done, we'll hop back across the pond to spend a little time with our favorite small-island girl at The Londoner.

Rosie's charm can be read from all the way across the Atlantic, and although her sweetness is sometimes a bit cloying, it -- like a good sticky toffee pudding -- never loses its charm. Follow Rosie's adventures exploring food, fashion, and all manner of other events in London; her travels abroad (she's currently in Phuket, if I recall); and her delightful days in the countryside with uncommonly handsome men of excellent standing.

And to round things out, we'll take the ferry over to pass a day or so with the dulcet-voiced darling of the emerald isle at her new writing post for Evoke.

Amy's always been an incredible delight and a light to our lives -- and her newest venture is cotton-candy fun to read. Soak in some celebrity gossip, do a bit of shopping, read up on how best to wash your hair and curl your eyelashes, and generally tumble around in a happy little sphere of techno-beautification. Yum.

And with that, dear readers, Tex and Coda must leave you. For we have promises to keep, and miles (read: bottles) to go (read: drink) before we sleep (read: drink). And miles to go before we sleep.
(poetic fade)

Monday, September 23, 2013

Our broken hearts go out to Kenya today.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Tex's Truck Stop Drinks: Lesson #4

Ladies. Gentlemen. Penguins of the Academy. I want to apologize to all of you. Coda and I have failed. We have. We’ve failed you. No, no, we have. We’ve failed you. Don’t interrupt! I said we’ve fucking failed you. Because we had forgotten, in our infinite wisdom, to introduce you to our newest round of Tex’s Truck Stop Drinks.

Now I know what you’re thinking: No, we don’t want any more drinks! What do you mean, 'truck stop?’ Who are you guys? How did you get in my house?

But those questions aren’t important. What is important? America. Freedom. Liberty. Respect. And the Ray Lewis Locker Room Reacharound.

In honor of the fact that the Ravens will now ascend to their rightful place at the throne of the NFL (I don’t know how football works)…Fuck it. I’m done. I’m drunk. Coda is taking over now.

The above was dictated and not read. Because some of us are a little bit wasted right now.  Coda here, I’ll be taking over now.

As you may have been able to glean from the above, Tex has created a new truck stop drink to send the Ravens off to the Super Bowl in (drunk) style: the Ray Lewis Locker Room Reacharound. It’s not subtle, it’s not pretty, but much like the man himself, it gets the job done.

First, put some ice in your cup. But maybe with a little more precision than Tex, who managed to pour half a bag of ice into my sink before getting any in either cup.

Next, pour yourself a generous serving of grape juice (Tex, who’s apparently shilling for Welch’s suggests you try their marvelous product and ‘not be cheap’).

Step three: pour in a little Perrier (lemon flavor recommended, not required). If you’re fancy like that and need some sort of ratio metric, try 1 measure of Perrier for every 2 of grape juice. Honestly, though, this drink is really about step four.

Tequila. Help yourself to some tequila. Because no matter how much Perrier you used, this still won’t taste like anything as much as it tastes like grape tequila. You’re welcome.

(Note from Tex: you can skip the Perrier if you want, but then it’s just a Ray Lewis Reacharound. No locker room for you. )

So drink them often and drink them proud, because Baltimore, your Ravens are going to the Super Bowl! And if there’s one thing this city loves, it’s a drunk, football victory party.


PS – If you sub absinthe in for the tequila you’ll start to hallucinate. That’s what we call a Manti Te'o Surprise.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

only in america

As you've undoubtedly gathered by this time, 2012 is an election year. And not even one of those total nonentity midterm election years.* It's a biggie. The Oval Office is up for grabs. In two days. So I've put together an extensive, if not comprehensive, post to help you navigate (and enjoy) the 2012 general elections. Be you decided in your choice or not.
*Totally kidding. All elections are important. But...you know...if you have to choose...don't be apathetic now.

Now Tex and I are admittedly a bit biased, but since we accept that not everyone has the same opinions we do, I'd like to direct your attention to I Side With.

I Side With lets you take a detailed political quiz and compares your stated views to those of the candidates running for President. Your results might end up surprising you (though mine didn't). And they might help you undecided voters know your own minds. I Side With also allows you to compare candidates to one another and has a very informative blog with break downs of all the candidates' positions on the election's hottest issues.

Fact checkers have generally earned their reputation for letting personal biases seep into their work. It's an understandable temptation. And it's what makes Glenn Kessler of the Washington Post such a rare find. As the Post's Fact Checker he's shown remarkable impartiality and is my go-to resource for the truth in all things political. As you can imagine, I've found him even more valuable during this seemingly interminable election season.

Kessler fact checks just about everything that happens on and around the Hill, which makes it especially helpful that he and his staff have separated out their posts on the 2012 election so you can shift through the various shades of rhetorical grey before voting. If you don't have time to sort through the myriad posts this election has generated, check the Cliff's Notes version: The Biggest Pinocchios of Election 2012. Then test your own knowledge of the issues with the Presidential Election Fact Checker Quiz.

Now we at TCKiT know just as well as anyone that an election can be fun even when it's serious, and this election has certainly spawned more than its fair share of mirth. From The Onion's increased coverage of our distinguished Vice President Biden to the recent spate of binder reviews on Amazon the Internets have never enjoyed an election more. Let's join them, shall we?

First up is Binders Full of Women. A relatively recent addition to the election-borne madness.

From a truly inspired collection of Halloween costumes to memes and photographs, Binders Full of Women successfully lampoons Romney's infamous affirmative action soundbite from the second debate.

Speaking of professional missteps, someone really ought to have talked Paul Ryan out of that awkward workout-inspired photo shoot for Time. Thankfully they didn't. And now both sides of the ideological aisle are taking advantage of this magnificent source material.

On the philosophical Right we have Hey Girl, It's Paul Ryan.

A neo-con iteration of one of my favorite memes, Hey Girl, It's Paul Ryan would surely make the VP-hopeful proud, and it never forgets to highlight his firm grasp of gun issues.

And in the other corner, weighing in for the Left, we have Mansplaining Paul Ryan.

Mansplaining Paul Ryan might trade in hyperbole, but it nails the Wisconsin Representative's penchant for condescension perfectly.

But my personal favorite is Arrested Decision 2012.

Pairing photos from the campaign trail with expertly selected quotations from Arrested Development, this site's commitment to nonpartisan ridicule is admirable in such a politically polarized atmosphere. Not only does it bring some much needed levity to an increasingly nasty election, this tumblr has the added benefit of getting everyone (even more) excited for the long-awaited return of Arrested Development. Who could ask for anything more?

All laughing aside, I know there there are a lot of emotional issues that play into this, and every, election. It can't all be cold, hard facts. Be your cause célèbre health caretaxes, employment, transparency, the economyIraq and Afghanistan, or marriage equality feeling can be a lot more compelling than stats when you get to the voting booth. Since that's the case, I just ask that you consider all sides of a question before doing your civic duty on Tuesday.

Also watch this mini West Wing reunion/random ad campaign, it's adorable and informative!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

football rap

I don't know if you've heard, but football is back! Or, as my brother so eloquently put it: our long national nightmare is over. Which means things here in Charm City are about to get doubly exciting. Not only are the O's fighting for first place in the AL East but the Ravens come back tomorrow to kick off another season of awesome. How best to celebrate this most wonderful time of the year? Online. Obviously.

Start by refreshing your memory of all 32 NFL teams. Even if you don't need the refresher, you're sure to enjoy this rundown of Every NFL Fan in 90 Seconds. It's brilliant, funny, and spot on. I mean, I'm totally the Ray Lewis of my lacrosse team.

Then take a look at what NFL team logos would look like if they were honest.

Thinking of taking in a game at a rival stadium? Don't buy your tickets blind, check out the view from almost any section in just about every stadium ever built on A View From My Seat.

All photos are user submitted and correspond to seating charts provided by the teams themselves. You can even share your own favorite spots in the comments. By the way, if you're thinking of making a playoff trip to Baltimore (let us pray) come visit me in my new sweet spot: section 334.

Already suffering from fantasy football stat fatigue? I hear you. Reignite your love of sabermetrics by falling for Wedded Blitz.

Grantland columnist (and secret friend-crush) Katie Baker does a highly statistical analysis of the New York Times 'Vows' section. Using her patiented NUPTIALS algorithm Baker ranks couples, a month at a time, by how well they fulfill the classic NYT wedding announcement tropes. The result is often equal parts sweet and revolting. Mostly, though, it's just hilarious. And while you're scrolling through the Wedded Blitz archives don't forget to stop by her rundown of the month of April, my neighbor is featured! Sadly the couple's score of 22 on the Society Scoreboard keeps you from reading about their adorable 101 Dalmatians-style meeting, but it's still pretty cool.

While we're still on the subject of love, let's talk about Aaron Rodgers. I know, I know. As recently as last season I was referring to him as the Captain Hook of the NFC North. But you guys, I was so wrong. I mean, not about him looking sort of like Captain Hook, but I was wrong to dismiss him because of it. This is an important lesson: just because someone looks like maybe they're a cartoon pirate doesn't mean they can't be awesome. And Aaron Rodgers is definitely awesome.

Quick history refresher: Rodgers was drafted by the Packers in 2005 to be Brett Favre's backup quarterback. Which was basically like being drafted to sit on the bench. Favre was Green Bay. And apparently, Rodgers knew it. But rather than get all emo about it, it looks like he decided to just enjoy the hell out of his time at Lambeau for however long it lasted. How'd he do that, you might ask? By photobombing all the Captains pictures he could manage from 2006 on. This site documents them all. And since turnabout is fair play, check for one or two that feature Rodgers' teammates getting the better of him. If only all Super Bowl MVPs were so much fun.

And now that we're done with our preseason internet warm up, I guess it's time to grab a Boh and get ready for some football.