Well kids, the Olympics are over. And the US delegation totally kicked ass. But it's not the glory that Tex and I will miss most as our attention returns Stateside, it's the Olympians themselves. You know who I'm talking about. Our hometown hero, that beautiful fool with the terrible taste, my own coup de foudre, and Cullen Jones. One more time, now: Cullen Jones. So in the name of international friendship, world peace, and our new hero Gabby Douglas I'd like to present you with an Olympic-themed post just for you. But also for us.
Look, this is a safe space so I think we can all just be honest with one another about something: Ryan Lochte would be a lot hotter if he weren't on Twitter. Unfortunately for his public image, he is. Fortunately for us, The Cut has found a silver lining.
Deep Thoughts from Ryan Lochte pairs admittedly hot photos of the Olympian with some of his choicest Tweets. Expect to finish the slideshow disappointed in yourself for not really caring about how stupid he sounds.
A friend of mine once posited the totally ridiculous theory that men in uniform aren't actually all that good-looking out of their uniforms. I won't delve too deeply into my thoughts on that subject (but, dude, you're wrong and even if you're not who cares), instead I'll merely refer you to this slideshow of 2012's hottest US Olympians...
Beating the odds and continuing to be hot in normal clothes.
And, in the continued spirit of objectification, check out what Olympic coverage would look like if all sports were photographed like women's beach volleyball:
Head's up, though, while not exactly NSFW it still might be a little uncomfortable to have your boss walk in while looking at awkward closeups of men's wrestling. So. Use your judgement.
Next, check out the BBC's web app to Find Your Olympic Athlete Body Match.
How do you stack up to the 2012 Olympians? (By the way, if the answer to that question is, 'with abs like these' consider yourself invited to TCKiT headquarters.)
Then round out your look back at the London games with one of its best memes:
McKayla is Not Impressed has photoshopped Team USA gymnast McKayla Maroney into everything from Disneyland to Inception with some truly impressive creativity. And McKayla, even if you're underwhelmed by that silver medal just know that the rest of us are pretty amazed by you and the rest of our US gymnasts.
And so, with a last look at the Olympic Google doodles and a round of Spice Girl songs, we bid adieu to the XXX Olympiad. See you in Rio!