The Coolest Kids in Town: a blog about Baltimore, DC, and the misadventures of two-city life.

Ladies. Gentlemen. Penguins of the Academy. I want to apologize to all of you. Coda and I have failed. We have. We’ve failed you. No, no, we have. We’ve failed you. Don’t interrupt! I said we’ve fucking failed you. Because we had forgotten, in our infinite wisdom, to introduce you to our newest round of Tex’s Truck Stop Drinks . Now I know what you’re thinking: No, we don’t want any more drinks! What do you mean, 'truck stop?’ Who are you guys? How did you get in my house? But those questions aren’t important. What is important? America. Freedom. Liberty. Respect. And the Ray Lewis Locker Room Reacharound . In honor of the fact that the Ravens will now ascend to their rightful place at the throne of the NFL (I don’t know how football works)…Fuck it. I’m done. I’m drunk. Coda is taking over now. The above was dictated and not read . Because some of us are a little bit wasted right now.  Coda here, I’ll be taking over now. As you may have been ab...

I don't know if you've heard, but football is back! Or, as my brother so eloquently put it: our long national nightmare is over. Which means things here in Charm City are about to get doubly exciting. Not only are the O's fighting for first place in the AL East  but the Ravens come back tomorrow to kick off another season of awesome . How best to celebrate this most wonderful time of the year? Online. Obviously. Start by refreshing your memory of all 32 NFL teams. Even if you don't need the refresher, you're sure to enjoy this rundown of Every NFL Fan in 90 Seconds . It's brilliant, funny, and spot on. I mean, I'm totally  the Ray Lewis of my lacrosse team. Then take a look at what NFL team logos would look like if they were honest . Thinking of taking in a game at a rival stadium? Don't buy your tickets blind, check out the view from almost any section in just about every stadium ever built on A View From My Seat. All photos are user ...

Well, kids, Tex is back from her long travels , wild adventures, and mysterious rendezvous (rendevi? rendevouseses?) in the distant East. And she's brought something to share with you. You know, until recently, I wasn't big into 'furniture stores.' Why buy furniture, I asked, when fruit crates fall off the back of trucks all the time , and you hardly ever run into trouble collecting cardboard boxes ? Well, times is changed and Tex has seen the light. That light is Su Casa . As those of you who read last week already know, Coda and I entered Su Casa's Test It/Blog It/Win It contest on a tipsy   loaded   drunken completely s***faced  fun whim - never thinking we'd actually be selected to perform our jobs (blogging is a job, right ?) in exchange for goods and services, and certainly never thinking we'd actually like doing so. In fact, we showed up at the Su Casa store championship-style: a week late, a little bit drunk, and 15 minutes before clo...

Kids, gather round. Kids. Kids. KIDS.  I said   'gather round.' Jameson, Cooley, Tulla, Whinnie, Deanston, Cutty - get in here. Mummy wants you to look at something. Now then . A few weeks ago, Tex was engaging in her usual Friday night routine - slamming whiskey with state officials, cursing incompetent aurifabers , and sexually harassing off-duty astronauts - when she stumbled upon the Test It. Blog It. Win It. contest being held by furniture moguls Su Casa .  Now, drunk Tex loves contests like drunk Coda loves starting fights with Steelers fans. So naturally we entered, and will be blogging our merry little lives away for the next few weeks. (Settle down , Cooley, love - this won't affect our summer plans at all. We're still going to see your little friends play in their soccer game or whatever.) And in the interest of full disclosure (and in an effort to teach you some  semblance of good taste in home decor), we're going to share o...

Over the past five years Tex and I would like to think you've gotten to know us pretty well. You know we hate hipsters , love Ramshackles , and that we have a preppy streak a mile wide. And that preppy mile of ours? It's paved in grosgrain. Ever since the tragic shredding of my favorite ribbon belt from high school (faulty D-rings, it's still hard to talk about) I've been on the hunt for something new to love. And I'm happy to report that I've found it. About a week or two ago we received a package from our giveaway partner in crime and, kids, its contents have brought us nothing but joy. We've gone on record before about our affinity for Chesapeake Ribbons , but now we're walking the walk, as well. I've worn my new favorite belt every single day since receiving it, and not one of those days has passed without getting at least one compliment on it. I'm telling you, this stuff is cute. So what did we get? Glad you asked. We'll star...

Cocktails, broken promises, and regret time! Also known colloquially as New Year's . For those who aren't yet aware, Baltimoreans love parties . Balls, galas, concerts , beer gardens , festivals - despite our choleric reputation , we are a people who love merriment in all its curious forms , at all times, and with even the thinnest of excuses . So, naturally, when an actual holiday with actual cause for celebration comes along, we celebrate it the only way we know how: by exploiting a loophole in the law that lets us do what we want . Yes, this curious state of affairs surrounding New Year's Eve in Baltimore comes because our forward-thinking forebears in the great city had their grand-kids' well-being in mind when they decided that bars should not be forced to close at the monastic hour of 2 am on the most celebratory night of the year. Reinterpretation of that law means that bars in Baltimore open at 8 pm on December 31st, and stay open until 2 am on...

Ah, the glory of the sport of kings. The lush, green fields. The pounding of hooves. The pretty dresses and bottomless mimosas. 10 Oaks Charity Polo Match In keeping with the spirit of our summer, Tex and Coda decided to live it up, Maryland-style . In keeping with our belief that maybe you monsters should do something nice for a change instead of just swearing all the time, we decided to start at the annual Catholic Charities Ten Oaks Polo match . Proceeds went to benefit the Our Daily Bread Employment Center , which provides workforce development, homelessness assistance, and one of the largest soup kitchens in the city. So to sum: do good things, see good sport - check out 10 Oaks 2011. Attractions included gorgeous horses, cute dresses, and one surprisingly placed anti-capitalist puppet show . I wish that was a joke. Green Cup of Polo Fast forward 3 weeks, and you'll find us again sitting field-side, amidst hooves and horseplay. This time we went to the Green Cup of Polo , a...

Far be it from a Baltimorean to turn down a party. There's just something about the opportunity to dance, drink, and startle our eardrums that gets a Marylander's blood running, and Texas is no exception. That's why she and Coda are pioneering a new feature for your blog viewing pleasure: Baltimore Buzz (a.k.a. So What'd You Do Last Night? ) First up on So What'd You Do Last Night: the immensely enjoyable Ottobar 2010 Pretty in Pink Prom: a night of 80's-themed festivities, including an on-point DJ, a dressed-to-impress crowd, and a rack of hilarious decorations. In true modern girl fashion, Tex went with a fellow Baltimore blogger, one of the writers of Two Dilettantes . Although I couldn't dream of outdressing that fashionable fox, I did my best (pics below). We also drank delish drinks (although we passed on the spiked punch - hits too close to hipster for my tastes), saw an amazing Michael Jackson impersonator, and just generally had a good time with th...

Well kids, Preakness is over, so as far as I'm concerned summer has officially begun, solstice be damned. And to me, as with all proper Baltimore girls, summer means only one thing: bonding with the Birds down at the Yard ( not Birdland, here at TCKiT Birdland will never be accepted). So, we're really only a month into the season at this point, and maybe the O's exponentially slow start put you off a bit. Maybe more than a bit. In fact, maybe you're just now aware that baseball season's started. Let Orioles Hangout help you get back in the swing of things. A multi-facated site, Orioles Hangout covers the O's, their farm system, fantasy baseball, and more. Use it to find out the odds of Reimold getting bumped back up to the majors, the projected length of Roberts 's stay on the DL, or just the score from tonight's game. If, however, you want something with a little more detail and many fewer pictures, check out Oriole Post . A blog dedicated, primarily...

As Baltimore poet Ogden Nash once wrote, 'The [Kentucky] Derby is a race of aristocratic sleekness, for horses of birth to prove their worth to run in the Preakness.' Here at TCKiT we couldn't agree more, and definitely hold the second leg of the Triple Crown in highest regard (in spite of the Maryland Jockey Club's consistent efforts to screw the whole thing up), so Tex and I are gonna give you a crash course in Preakness before we head out to Pimlico to enjoy the newly reinstated alcohol policy. First thing you need to know is post time. The running of the 135th Preakness Stakes begins at exactly 6.18pm on NBC, don't forget to look for us in the infield. Next we're gonna point you in the direction of ESPN's (slightly dated) rundown of the Preakness and what you need to know if you plan to be in attendance. Lastly, we'll throw in an entertaining, though perhaps not so flattering, post about last year's infield BYOB-ban from With Leather , a sp...

Yesterday Tex and I hooked you guys up with some credible, on-the-ground news sources, and today we're gonna continue in that vein by pointing you in the direction of some of our favorite young bloggers and Baltimore social commentators. First up is Bohs and O's . Written primarily by a group of guys we probably all danced with at one middle school mixer or another, Bohs and O's is an entertaining assemblage of opinions that touch on just about every aspect of (young) life in Baltimore. Admittedly, there are some days when it's a little Bro-heavy , but on the whole it's more or less delightful (and it's also the original home of our TCKiT favorites survey). Insane Baltimore is written by another Baltimore-based blogger with a biting sense of humor. Updated whenever inspiration strikes (which we here at TCKiT find highly relatable), Insane Baltimore is full of entertaining observations about that special kind of crazy that's just accepted here in Charm Cit...

Baltimore is home to a surprisingly rich literary tradition : from the riots in the summer of 1812 centered around our 1st Amendment right to a free press (which also earned us the loving moniker Mobtown), to newspaperman and all around critic H.L. Mencken , the people of Baltimore have always loved expressing themselves. The golden age of journalism might be past, but Baltimore is home to plenty of verbose bloggers who can tell you all about the ins and outs of our city; um, you know, other than us. Welcome to Baltimore, Hon! is a self-described virtual scrapbook of Baltimore curated by Charm City natives and featuring everything from local news to photo contests. Baltimore Skyline is a similarly structured blog - giving a more personal voice to the local news, be it wonderful, awful, or just plain strange. For a more direct link to all things Baltimore and newsy check out Inside Charm City . Inside Charm City posts, verbatim, breaking news, press releases, interviews, and the like ...

Maryland is home to so many wonderful things: Tex & Coda, the Naval Academy, those lovable O's, and of course, blue crab. No matter what lies biologists and the Discovery Channel tell you, the blue crab really is the only one worth knowing, or eating. In that light, allow us to direct you to The Crab Guy , a blogger who, as his name implies, writes all about those delectable crustaceans native to the Chesapeake and how best to prepare them . He even has detailed instructions on how to pick crabs so you'll look like a native even if you're not. If however, you're one of those people (and Coda is not) who prefers crab cakes to picking your own, then check out The Crab Cake Guy and find out how to make them right. By the way, making them right will not include a fryer. Ever. If you'd like to take a more scientific approach to learning about crabs and the Bay head on over to Bay Daily , a blog about environmental issues relating to the Chesapeake and her water...

And for Tex and Coda, that's Baltimore. So we've decided to dedicate Preakness week to our beloved Charm City: all week we'll be pushing our favorite Baltimore sites and blogs, drinking heavily in anticipation of Saturday, and just generally enticing those of you who aren't fortunate enough to live here to come join the party. And, because we're so delightful we could probably talk you into just about anything, we're gonna prepare you for your inevitable visit by starting things off with a survey of our Bmore favorites (hoisted right off one of our favorite Baltimore blogs - to be named later - and edited to our exacting standards) as well as a quick link to an article in The Sun explaining the unique Mid-Atlantic culture to all you confused northerners and southerners out there. TCKiT favorites: Favorite Dive Bar? ◦ Tex: Windsor Inn ◦ Coda: John Steven Favorite Weekend Bar? ◦ Tex: Waterfront Hotel ◦ Coda: Max's Favorite Weekday...