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Our broken hearts go out to Kenya today.

Tex's Truck Stop Drinks: Lesson #4

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Ladies. Gentlemen. Penguins of the Academy. I want to apologize to all of you. Coda and I have failed. We have. We’ve failed you. No, no, we have. We’ve failed you. Don’t interrupt! I said we’ve fucking failed you. Because we had forgotten, in our infinite wisdom, to introduce you to our newest round of Tex’s Truck Stop Drinks . Now I know what you’re thinking: No, we don’t want any more drinks! What do you mean, 'truck stop?’ Who are you guys? How did you get in my house? But those questions aren’t important. What is important? America. Freedom. Liberty. Respect. And the Ray Lewis Locker Room Reacharound . In honor of the fact that the Ravens will now ascend to their rightful place at the throne of the NFL (I don’t know how football works)…Fuck it. I’m done. I’m drunk. Coda is taking over now. The above was dictated and not read . Because some of us are a little bit wasted right now.  Coda here, I’ll be taking over now. As you may have been ab