Showing posts from April, 2010

viva hate

Well kids, it's been a pretty awful 24 hours: the Caps lost, the O's can't seem to win more than 2 games together, and I'm about 30 seconds from ending one of my co-workers. But it looks like the worst might be behind me now: I cut off all my hair, that Rascal Flatts song isn't stuck in my head anymore (but it might be stuck in yours, sucka), and Tex is back! More than back, actually, she and I are doing our very first joint post, and it's on a subject very near and dear to our hearts: hating on hipsters.

First on the menu: Hipster Wife Hunting.

Don't worry, it's just as gross as it sounds. American Apparel wearing girls put up personal ads telling everyone why they'd make the perfect hipster wife in hopes of meeting their douchey soulmate. I know, I know, it sounds like there is no upside to a site this obnoxious, but, as it turns out, after a really tough day some aggressive hipster hating is just the ticket to turn things around.

And now for somethi…

Hipsters A-Go-Go

Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up to the blog. Yes, kiddos, Texas is back, and better than ever before, filling your life with light and happiness and awful, awful hipsters.

1. First up: the good, the bad, and the ugly at Look at this fucking hipster.

Started with facebook photos, expanded into an empire, the site lambasts hipsters like it's going out of style. Which it never will.

2. Once you've taken that in, cleanse your palate and amuse yourself over at Hipster Puppies.
It's about exactly what it sounds like - hipster puppies (Not pupsters. Never pupsters.) - in all shapes and colors. It's cute and clever, and makes you less terrified for the state of today's youth.
Now, while you're doing all this hipster research, you're probably going to want a stiff drink. Well, this isn't one, but it might get you laid at the kind of parties where people debate Eliott Smith. So enter Texas' latest truck stop drink creation:
The Hipster Roofie Slam…

pencil thin mustache

You know what doesn't get nearly enough appreciation, at least as far as facial hair goes? Mustaches. Sure, I might only feel this way because I've just come off a 2 day Jimmy Buffett bender (with a splash of Zac Brown Band - Crossroads is secretly the greatest show ever) but I'm inclined to think it's genuine. So genuine, in fact, that I'm devoting an entire post to this most illustrious of facial hair incarnations.

The World Beard & Mustache Championships is a biennial event where men with seriously impressive facial hair compete against one another for the recognition they so rightfully deserve. Browse through the event's history (apparently it's shrouded in controversy), look for upcoming events, read up on the competing teams, or click through to the Team USA website and bask in the glow of the world's new facial hair super power. And there's no need to walk away empty handed, the WBMC has an online store.

After looking at all those waxed won…

new workout plan

As my grandfather so wisely told me one day: real friends don't make you exercise. Unfortunately that sage advice came too late, as one of my friends, we'll call her Beelzebub, had already talked me into running a half marathon with her, and I was, at that point, only one week from said race. Why tell you this story? To warn you, dear friends, to steer clear of false friends trying to kill you under the guise of 'helping you live longer' or some such nonsense. If, however, you've already fallen victim to your own Beelzebub, and need some help staying on track, well, I suppose I'm here to help.

Habit Forge is a handy little site that'll let you lay out your goals (stop biting nails, run 3 miles, etc) and then email you, every day, for 21 days asking you if you've completed your goal for the day. If you say no the clock resets until you've succeeded for 21 days straight. After 21 successive days of success Habit Forge'll give you the option to cont…

partie traumatic

Well kids, it appears that Spring has finally sprung, which means that the Caps are in the playoffs and we O's faithful are high on believing that this will be the year which marks our return to former glory. And what better way to celebrate the passing of the vernal equinox than by throwing a party, or at the very least a rowdy BeerBQ?

Need a little inspiration? Or perhaps just something to aspire to? Check out Keggers of Yore.

Keggers of Yore is an online collection of old party pictures, and not just any party pictures, monumental party pictures. The kind Homer would've written epic poetry about. From dorm room drinking sessions and small gatherings to huge outdoor fiestas, Keggers of Yore is the world's single greatest photo collection of old-timey people making jackasses of themselves. The best part? Keggers of Yore takes submissions, so if your grandfather had a legendary keg stand you can share it with the world. And hey, maybe one day your grandkids will submit pictu…