pencil thin mustache
The World Beard & Mustache Championships is a biennial event where men with seriously impressive facial hair compete against one another for the recognition they so rightfully deserve. Browse through the event's history (apparently it's shrouded in controversy), look for upcoming events, read up on the competing teams, or click through to the Team USA website and bask in the glow of the world's new facial hair super power. And there's no need to walk away empty handed, the WBMC has an online store.
After looking at all those waxed wonders it'd be totally understandable if you wanted to try to import some of that magic into your own life. Sure, sure, not everyone can actually grow a mustache impressive enough to make Snidely Whiplash weep, but you can definitely e-vandalize your own pictures so it looks that way. iStache is a fun little program designed for Mac users by the same brilliant minds who brought you Bullet. One free download and you'll be able to decorate all your pictures with any of iStache's preloaded lip rugs.
Wonderful though it is, iStache's 10 options can be quite limiting, so if you've found that to be the case and want to explore a few more options head on over to Lord Likely's Exra-Ordinary Inter-Active Mustache-O-Rama. Choose from one of about 36 impressive, and inappropriately named, mustaches and use them to decorate the disapproving portrait of Lord Likely.
If, however, you're one of our readers who can grow facial hair, why not do it now, for a good cause? The Caps (and, I suppose, the rest of the NHL) have invited their fans to be part of a playoff tradition.
The Beard-a-Thon gives you two ways to support Washington Capitals Charities: either create a profile and collect pledges while growing a beard yourself; or go online and choose a friend, player, or stranger who's participating and make a donation on their behalf. They also have a build-a-beard option which, in addition to looking a lot like the Lord Likely's of beards, lets women and prepubescent boys gather pledges of their own by Growing One for the Team online. Soul patches not accepted.