How do I get there from here?

So I'm back in CSTX, and you're back in wherever the hell you are, and to celebrate, I'm going to spend my morning sleeping, and my afternoon thinking of ways for us to get the f--- out of here. So here's how you can help:

First of all, go here:




And read this article: Our Favorite Islands.


Note: The price on the first island made me cry. To compensate, I had to take a minute to browse Young Money and quietly forget the fact that my degree is in environmental science.

Then, spend some time wandering around here:






And put that B-level required geography class to use playing:





Afterwards, you will probably be feeling worldly and accomplished. Share your self-congratulatory narcissism with others at the following:




The name is only the tip of the disdain. If things get too mature and grammatically correct for you, you can check out:





Another user-generated content site with reviews of cities, bars, nightclubs, barbershops, pet psychiatrists, and any other frivolous s--- you might possibly want to have.

But if, at the end of the day, you are like me, stuck for six more months in the middle of f---ing nowhere, then at least you can amuse yourself with this:





It's a website where you can post a question which will get asked to 500 people across the globe. It's like an insta-sample of public opinion. Well, almost. Anyway, it's kind of like traveling. Sort of. In your head. Look, just go read some Bill Bryson and get off my back. Texas needs to mix herself a drink.

P.S. There's a cold one in it for whoever can identify the source of this post's title.

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